Description

I am so happy for you that you have an outdoor fire pit, a hookah, tons of lawn furniture, an assortment of construction equipment, and a huge table full of alcohol in your backyard. It looks and sounds simultaneously really wild and very cozy. What you might not realize, however, is that your accompanying outdoor speakers, which you've been playing for nearly 5 hours, and which, from experience, I know you will continue to keep going strong through through 3 or 4am, sound exactly like they're next to my bed, right next to the pillow, in fact. Despite being many stories up, I'm treated to a wind (sound?) tunnel that thoughtfully carries your fun right to my ears (and walls! the walls in every room of my apartment vibrate during your festivities!) so that I don't miss a single word of your extended outdoor gatherings.

Lest you think me a no fun nincompoop who doesn't understand a good time to be had on special occasions, I can attest that I know this not to be any such special occasion, not just because you have the same extended outdoor music, fire, alcohol, hookah event over and over and over and over (no one has that many birthdays in a row) but because, again, I can hear literally every word of your sometimes shouted sometimes spoken conversations through my window caulking and white noise.

It's too bad it's not a series of birthday celebrations because I have a GREAT gift idea. Since you gift me so frequently with the sound intrusion of your choosing, why not return the favor with a scent instruction. I'm thinking to gather all the folks on seeclickfix who are similarly treated to noise someone else thoughtfully picked out for them and organize a @#$% campaign in which we arrive on your front porch at once for a big gas out. Bonus! That could be noisy, too. Two for one. If we want to get really fancy, you could specify a birthday age and we can organize that number of @#$% by each attendee! Like you, I too like to be neighborly.